Damn It:
Honest introspection can be its own living hell
The magnified anger, the pains of a stressed knotted stomach, internal audible hearing of your mind’s anguished yell
Sweating, flushed with the heat from your own flame
The realization that damn it, there is no one else left to blame! – Donnie 2010
Are You Ready To Forgive God?
Why dabble in sin? If the cost: pain, guilt, anguish, frustration and resentment is perceived as the same, whether small or large sin, then “Super-size It!” was my thinking.
It is a common trait to shift blame. Adam blamed the woman that God created for him. Jacob, in his anger, ascended the ladder to wrestle with the Angel of the Lord. So my audacity to blame God for my problems may be bold but not unique.
Fear, pride, jealousy, insecurity and anger are each on their own, or in combination, emotions that we rationalize as justification for blame shifting.
In our culture, there would not be any celebrity and entertainment news without somebody to blame. We would not have an over-population problem in our prisons; if we would just listen to the inmates reasoning as to why they are there. Without blame, we would almost live in a country of political harmony.
Scapegoats are convenient. Plus, there is an ironic self confidence in victimhood. “I could’ve done it or I would’ve done it, if it wasn’t for something or somebody; my boss, my job, my spouse, the economy, the government, my situation.”
I recently saw a news story on the economy where an engineer was bemoaning the lack of engineering jobs in Baltimore Baltimore
It always amazes me that many people do not understand the definition of a job. A job is a task that a person or company needs performed, therefore, they are willing to pay someone with sufficient skills to perform it. Companies do not hire because you need an income. But, don’t worry; the government has their best minds working on finding you an income. Jobs, evidentially, are beyond their capabilities.
As a Christian it is unsettling, to say the least, to face the reality that whether I feel close or distant, God never moved! Therefore, He cannot be blamed for any perceived space in our relationship.
It is common knowledge that ‘haughtiness/pride proceeds the fall’. I am becoming very good at recognizing the fall; it is the signs of pride that I keep missing; speeding by in oblivion before the big Ouch! The best time to read ‘The Bridge is out’ is before the bridge!
God is faithful in both; allowing the fall and through His word, pointing out the missed signs.
“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it? I, the LORD, search the heart; I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9, 10
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139: 23, 24
For me, there is a distinct difference between these verses. In Jeremiah, there is a statement of fact. While, in David’s psalm it is a prayer of humility. The futility of me trying to find a ‘corner’ to hide is vanity in the ‘round room’ of God’s word. Whether I ask in humility or speed along in pride; my heart is searched.
If a genius walks into a wall it could be a mistake in judgment, if he backs up and walks into it again, then his status of genius is a mistake in judgment! I have been humbled before, but, I quickly recovered. I don’t want to recover anymore from where God wants me to be.
I didn’t mess around with any minor scapegoats; I ‘Super-sized it’ and went straight for the top. How blessed to know; God has forgiven me for forgiving him.
