Hold on tight

The Discourse Continues

Pilgrim:  Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen. Your tolerance; exhibited by your return, is only exceeded by your mental masochism to listen again to our panelists. In the slight hint of chance, that my companions have not been indelibly seared into your mind; I will re-introduce on my right, Captain O.B. Obvious and to my left, Carter Vaughn Saucy. If you ever heard the raucous bawdiness that these two can sink to in their banter, you would understand the necessity of keeping them separated  and sitting up straight as it were. Before we begin tonight’s discourse, let me caution the two of you; it is my desire that you be given a fair amount of time to elaborate. I would hope you would limit your thoughts to our two categories of discussion: an evaluation of media coverage of the Presidential Race and a discussion of the success or failing of our current set of political opportunists. If you can color within the lines that I have drawn, for as much as decorum will allow, I will let you talk unfettered. Let’s begin.

Captain O.B. Obvious: Well Pilgrim, at the risk of being plucked, I would say regarding the media: Hyperbole is the new understatement. It is as though the Weather Channel is now forecasting the news. I fully expect Chris Matthews to don his bright yellow, foul-weather gear and stand in a 40mph wind announcing a catastrophe if anyone other than Mr. Obama is president. If I were the republicans, I would schedule a debate where Mr. Obama’s 1^st year teleprompter faced his 4^th year teleprompter. The President could moderate and attempt to explain the difference. It is amazing to me that a screeching Hillary Clinton screamed to an imaginary antagonist that “dissent is the highest form of patriotism!” while after one term of an Obama Administration, dissent is now a ‘hate crime’.

Carter Vaughn Saucy: Whoa Captain! Are you sure you are not a Koch brother or perhaps an unacknowledged child of Rupert Murdoch? It is that Fox News mentality that gives credence to the kind of thinking; that federally financed programming would have a bias. Just because Jeffery Immelt, as CEO of GE, was able to secure $140million of TARP funding for GE Captial, and give raises to the anchors of a minor subsidiary, MSNBC, doesn’t mean you can go from 1 to 4 completely bypassing 2 and 3. Besides, GE sold MSNBC eliminating any remaining signs of a conflict of interest.

Captain O.B. Obvious: Carter, I could never follow your fuzzy math anyhow. It sounds like the famous Biden 3-letter word: J O B S! (By the way. I think President Obama’s remaining healthy for his first term is something we are all grateful for). I think the democrats have about as much chance of defending the President’s record and listing his accomplishments as completing a census of the jackalope population in South Dakota. (jackalopes - Google Search)

Carter Vaughn Saucy: Pilgrim, perhaps you can explain something obvious to the Captain that he has obviously missed: the argument is over; the progressives won. When I was working towards my PBS in Political Scientology it was apparent that Keynesians had far more complicated equations to basic economic functions. Everyone knows that people are always impressed with complexity. For example: the economists of the think tank, Wonder, Ponder & Yawn have the entire democrat party repeating their equation that for every $1.00 spent in unemployment benefits;  it returns $1.33 to the economy. You can’t get there with simple addition.  It requires a complex calculus, coupled with a crystallized understanding of sectors, vectors and trifectas. Throw in a Romulus and a parallelogram and the American public will conclude that they do not understand, but obviously you do.

Captain O.B. Obvious: Meanwhile, I can pick any Bubba from the bayou who will tell you: “C.V. why then, don’t we break-out the Billy Beer and all go on unemployment so that the economy can really take-off?” Have you ever tried talking a gator into letting go of your leg?

Pilgrim: Go easy please. Don’t make me shake my head and return to sanity.

Carter Vaughn Saucy: I was listening to Mitt Romney’s victory speech in Nevada; he picked up 14 delegates (Whoopee); kind of like Mickey Mantle playing home-run derby in a Little League park. He said: “Our immigrant ancestors did not come to America for a free check, they came for freedom.” It is that kind of statement that reveals how out of touch he is. Everyone else knows that hasn’t been true for at least 25 years! Hey Mitt, ever hear of California?

Captain O.B. Obvious: I did not see Matt Lauer needing a helmet when he did his Super Bowl interview of the president. Mr. Obama said he deserves a second term, but the job is not done. Thank goodness! Because when the job is done so will America be done.  He can’t justify now, $5 Trillion in debt; will he be twice as smart, to justify $10 Trillion? He thought it was “interesting” that a woman’s high-tech engineer husband was unemployed for two years. He asked that she send the resume to him. I think all 23 million resumes of those still looking for work should be sent to the White House. Maybe his understanding will rise to “fascinating”!

Pilgrim: If there is any hope of having a returning audience, we need to end here.

Captain O.B. Obvious: One more quick thing before I return to my neuro earthworm duties. The Chrysler Super Bowl Ad was a lot of Americana for an Italian owned company and can we please start enforcing our laws against abusing the elderly; Clint Eastwood is 81 years old for crying out loud!